part two

we woke up tangled up. i was beyond thirsty so i told mark i needed a coke. we must have walked 2 miles to find one. it was hot and humid. i talked and never shut up, not for a second. he reached out for my hand. i was sure my heart was going to come shooting out my toes. but i tried to keep it cool. so we walked hand in hand to find a coke. we went to the beach to play in the sand and water. i underestimated the waves...they didn't look threatening, and i assured him i wasn't going to get my hair wet...had to stay cute, of course! i wasn't even up to my knees yet in the water, and the first wave took both of us down before we knew what happened. we came up sputtering and laughing. we sat down in the water and played with the sand, tossing it around and giggling. he suggested we try walking further into the water...he later admitted his intentions were not, as he said, to see how far we could go, but in the hopes he'd get to catch me when the waves knocked me back. he got his way.

for our last night in destin, we decided to order pizza and hang out on the broken boat. i must have spent an hour getting ready. i showed up in a strapless yellow sundress with a bottle of wine. we laughed, joked, cussed, and told stories. eventually mark and i walked to the end of one of the docks. we sat with our feet in the water and talked. there was no sense of time, i couldn't hear anything but my chattering or see anything but him. somehow i told him my entire story while he listened and asked questions. it was the first time in my life i was truly heard. we talked about our shitty relationships and how much we were regretting going "home". we never once shared our feelings for each other. i finished my bottle of shiraz, whispered a wish into the bottle, put the cork back on, and tossed it into the ocean.

even though we didn't sleep, the next morning came way too soon. we knew what it meant. we'd go our separate ways, and would never see each other again. we awkwardly hugged each other goodbye. he told me if i was ever back in tennessee to give him a shout. i weakly smiled, said goodbye to everyone else, and hopped in the car as fast as i could. the 6 hour drive back was miserable. i knew he was on the same highway going to the same place. we got to tennessee and headed to bed. my flight was early the next morning. on the way to the airport, my friend pointed at his exit and said that he was working today just a mile from where we were. my heart was aching, pulling me to where he was. but i ignored it. and went back to texas, to my little boys and my thankfully now ex-husband. guess how long that lasted?