christianity and other scary shit

faith means making a virtue out of not thinking
-bill maher

i've got an actual post in the works that i'm actually trying to write/edit about this shit. for those of you who don't know, each and every one of these blog posts pretty much just explode out of me here and there. i don't re-read, edit, or anything of that sort. just put it out there. because that's what a true outlet is, right? not a conditioned form of some sort of emotion or thought you need to rid yourself of, correct? so all that to say, this is about my beef with christianity, yes, but this is just the turmoil of thoughts in my head tonight. i'm actually working on an educated sounding, fact based, sited, written piece. this will not be. this is a rant. or as best as i can do to type as fast as my brain is spinning over all this.

i know all of you are facebook friends, and many are reading shaking your heads after my apparently very abrasive status last night. she's lost touch of reality, her soul has been influenced by satan, she has fallen away, she is on a crooked path, she is doomed, this is sad, let's all pray for her. please do. i'll let ya know if it helps any. if i start bible thumpin next week, i'll apologize and make sure you all know that you're right. until then...

grow up.

because i sure as hell have. you spent your life worshipping, praying, loving god? you've devoted thousands of hours concentrating on his word, trying so hard to model your life after christ? good for you. i'm not being sarcastic. way to put your whole heart into something. it's very very hard to do that. you believe it a thousand percent? you raise your children in it? amazing. if you believe it so strongly to do all of this, back it. stand behind it. and know WHY you stand behind it. i will respect you, your choices, your freedom. so why is the favor not returned? you're like vultures, it's unbelievable. if you truly want to know why i believe what i believe and why i stopped believing what i believed in the past, ask! don't come at me with hateful messages and emails telling me how wrong i am. i mean, seriously?! how uncalled for and immature is that? i had three, out of nineteen people come at it with that approach. "hey hilary, can you explain to me why you feel this way? i respect you, i don't agree with you, but i respect you and am curious to your reasoning." the other sixteen were along the lines of,  "can't believe you'd say something like that...you're going to hell....god loves you, you really need to come back...you're a sinner...you're a whore"...and so on.

respect me, i'll respect you. hell, i'll respect you even when you don't respect me. because i'm a good person. i'm a good ATHEIST person. oxymoron? fuck no. dont' get me wrong, i'll take my licks. i'll take them and be the bigger person, take that "christians"-who-are-twice-my-age-and-the-most-close-minded-people-i've-ever-met! but fuck you.

it's the little things.