part three

i spent a miserable 10 days in texas before i contacted mark. on my wedding anniversary. found out he had called off the wedding. my thankfully ex-husband was due to move out any day. i left the kids with grandparents in texas and drove to tennessee. i left straight from the houston airport after dropping off my thankfully ex-husband at the airport to head to 6 weeks of officer training for the marines. that last night we spent in that hotel we spent in separate beds. i laid awake in anticipation of coming to tennessee, and also just staring at the ceiling knowing it was my last night with him forever. wondering what my life would have in store for me. life, as i knew it, had forever changed.

i drove the long 16 hours, only stopping to eat and potty. my heart rate jumped substantially every mile. i contemplated stopping for a bottle of wine about 100 miles out. i watched the miles tick by and finally made it to nashville. while driving through nashville, i refreshed my breath, my hair, my lip gloss, and deodorant. i called him once i was in hendersonville and he told me how to get to his house (although i'd practically memorized mapquest). he told me i may want to let him drive my car into his garage because his driveway was so steep. i got out of the car and watched him walk down the driveway to me. i was shaking and nervous to the point of nausea. he drove my car in and i followed him into his house. we went up to his bonus room and sat on the couch. he grabbed me and said, "i can't believe you're actually here." he was shaking, as was i.

he took me to dinner that night at a mexican restaurant we go to quite often now. we sat on the patio with margaritas until the sun went down. that night we cuddled on the couch and he introduced me to tosh.o, now one of our favorite shows. we laughed, kissed, and talked all night. the next day we slept until noon then got up and went for taco bell. then drove around looking at houses, walking in parks, until dinner time. we would go back to his house, get ready, and he'd take me out. that was our pattern for the entire week. lazy mornings in bed followed by late nights talking and learning each other.

i put him under strict orders to NOT tell me he loved me in this week while i was visiting. i purely wanted to be with him and see what we had. i didn't want to get caught up in the juvenile 'i love you' jitters. plus, i didn't want him to say it and me not feel it and the awkwardness that ensues...etc. although i almost blurted it out many times myself. on the third morning, i was laying on my stomach with my head facing away from him. he thought i was asleep. he started tracing my tattoo, then on the third time through my tattoo, i noticed he was writing something different. i caught on from "ve you" on. it was followed by a few !! as well. my heart fell to the floor and i was fairly confident he could feel it shaking the bed. and that was it. the most romantic, intimate, incredible moment of my life. my world changed that second.

i had to go back to texas and get my boys. i spent five miserable days there. i packed them in the car and drove to tennessee the day of my birthday. i walked in and met his kids, and introduced mine to him. aidan and oliver immediately went with jake who wanted to show them all his cool wii games. we sat on the couch watching them, and i was teary eyed with how right it all felt. home. family. love. he took us all to dinner that night at our mexican restaurant. i didn't leave for three weeks. i went back to texas, packed up a u-haul with the help of my thankfully ex-husband, and left it all behind me. i'd never felt so liberated. i made it to tennessee and to his parents house, where they had a chilled bottle of wine waiting for me. i was finally home.

and here i sit. here we sit. more in love than that morning he first 'told' me. happy. complete.